Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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