I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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