Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
