Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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