yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize