If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
