you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
