Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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