Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize