she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
