and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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