HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
