I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
