Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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