I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
