We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
