he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
