omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we're making bets on your personal life
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
