You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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