why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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