He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
