Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I queefed so loud it echoed.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
