Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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