I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
