8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
