Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
