I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
