my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
