Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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