I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
