I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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