My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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