Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
