Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
