No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
