Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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