that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
