So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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