Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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