I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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