Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
