i don't like sucking hair
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
