dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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