a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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