i need an iv and a liver transplant
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
