She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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