mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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