Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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