You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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