we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he thought i was a dude.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
