Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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