Swine flu is the new snow day.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
