I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize