I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
