this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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