Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
