Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can text with my tongue
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
