Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
