My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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