I saw his package. It spoke to me.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize