Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
