so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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