if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
