I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize